By Regan Candelario
Follow these step by step directions to a fabulous Fortuna getaway weekend.  Or adjust to your preference….I guess, if you don’t trust me.    Whatever.  Just make sure to schedule some form of this trip in the next month.   You deserve it….really.
Thursday evening\ pack for the Fortuna  Fabulous Frenzy getaway and load the car ...­(free)  After work Friday, drive to Fortuna.  Grab a Grande blended mocha frap with whip cream on the way out…  ($3.95 or so)  If you can pick a first Friday of the month, even better to catch the Fortuna First Friday open shops and art displays.  Free, unless your buying….and just FYI $50 will go a long way.
Just put in Best Western or other hotel address into Google maps or your GPS.   A total of four hours drive time and getting around town the little you might choose to do should be totally under one tank of gas  ($55) for the whole weekend.  Enjoy the ride and the wonderful scenery….and likely a great sunset over Humboldt Bay Friday evenings.  Grab dinner at Las Cazuelas, for Mexican, order the burrito with carnitas and wet with green sauce. Under $38 for two….usually.  Have a margarita if you are so inclined.   $4.95.  Check in to your room at the Best Western.  Now get some sleep...tomorrow will be busy in and around Fortuna.
Saturday….wake up whenever you like, but not so late you miss the free hot breakfast.
Unless you love breakfast, then get dressed and head downtown to L’s Kitchen  1260 Main St. (pronounced Hell’s Kitchen)  After breakfast, from the hotel, walk over to the Riverlodge and take a hike down the levee trail.   Enjoy the eel river…see some cows.  Hang out at the lodge and see the gift shop for local arts and crafts.  Get the origami earrings from “Gnomes and Pillows” artist Alina.  Only $8 and sooooo cute and unique.
Be sure to get lots of exercise and then have lunch at the eel river brewery  1777 Alamar Way.  Walk there.  Catch the game too if there is one on this Saturday.  Get the Redwood Log appetizer and share it.  BBQ Pork sandwich, good call.  Did I mention it is a brewery?  Yea, that’s right. ($40)
Hop in the car with your designated driver and head over to Ferndale and enjoy the Victorian village.  Hike up to the cemetery, enjoy the view, Hike back down….spend time just hanging around…and play some bocce ball in the park….Free
It is not all pretentious…so don’t worry about getting dressed for dinner and head up the street to the Ivanhoe for dinner.  Order the prime rib special since it is Saturday ($60)
Stop drinking before dinner so you can drive safely back to the hotel….and get cleaned up this time.  No pooping out now.  Hop back in the car to drive over to the Bear River Casino for the rest of the evening.  Or maybe take a cab there if you plan to drink while there. ($15)
Be sure to play craps….expect to roll an eleven.  Then play roulette, and place a bet on # 29.  Do as you like of course….but I’m telling you # 29.  And hedge a few bets with green.  Really.
When you have finally worked off the prime rib and get back to the hotel….whatever, then enjoy the breakfast on Sunday and check out.  Now get in your car and get out of town and back home before someone misses you and get yourself ready for work on Monday.  Not bad for under $300.
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